New Quote

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

- Peter De Vries

CaBIYW

The Childless and Blissfully Ignorant Young Woman (hereinafter to be referred to as CaBIYW) scornfully eyes the Heavily Laden Mother with Screaming Toddler (who, let's face it, can hereinafter be referred to as ME and IAN). CaBIYW tells herself that although she doesn't have any children, if she DID, her little angels would be much better behaved. Her little angels would sit peacefully in the cart, holding her list for her, and saying, in perfect little British accents things like, "Mummy... in this aisle, we need the broccoli." and "might I get that for you, if it isn't too much trouble?"

WISE UP SISTER.

We were ALL the smug little CaBIYW at some point. We all thought such silly, and frankly stupid things.

And let me tell you with exquisite certainty that if you ever DO have children, you too will find yourself one day in the entryway of a Walgreen's, trying in vain to reason with your Screaming Toddler. And you will have to admit that it is your Screaming Toddler who has firmly planted himself in the cosmetics department, gripping that tube of hand cream like his little life and all his future happiness depends on possessing that tube of hand cream. And you too will finally possess the knowledge that it's not because you are a bad mother. It's not because you raised your Screaming Toddler badly. It's not because you could have averted this moment. It's because you can't always give in and buy your Screaming Toddler every matchbox truck he sees... which YOOOOOOU understand, and HEEEEE doesn't... and since you won't buy every matchbox truck he ever sees... you too will find yourself in that place... that place where your Screaming Toddler, (who by the way will be wearing a LondonFog blue and yellow heavy coat, red shorts, and green and yellow rubber garden shoes - cementing the CaBIYW's opinion that you MUST be trailer trash), whose adorable little face will be a mask of tears and boogers from your obvious terrible parenting skills, has transferred all his material longing for a matchbox truck for the next random object that he could clutch in his little sweaty hands.

And while you are trying to process all this information, you are also aware that somewhere in that store... the cycle starts over... with some other CaBIYW.

And if the Universe is conscious, this is proof that She has a sense of humor.

And a mean streak.

-k

money thoughts

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

The Mexican community has a similiar theory. It's the gift of the thirteen dimes. It's a wedding tradition. They give the newly married bride a simple bag that contains thirteen dimes (and there are now traditions about which dimes should be in there). The idea is that if you never spend those dimes, you will never be broke. You will always have those dimes. You will never hit rock bottom because you'll always have those dimes.

It's a beautifully simple concept, and I appreciate the metaphysical basis... yet... I've got to be honest here... I have to admit I'd rather win the lottery and have a million in the bank that I didn't spend the principal and I lived off the interest!

-k

So Sleepy

Katie MUST start sleeping longer than 2-3 hours at a stretch. I'm coming compleeeeeeeetely unglued.

-k

THAT's my girl

Today, she's saying "Maaamaaaamaaaamaaa!"


And just LOOOOOOOK at those cheeeeeeeeeks...



Worthy of all the extra vowels. She can store them in her cheeeeeeeks.

-k

Scare today

Ian was playing quietly... in fact, it was SILENT. I looked around the house... silence. I called upstairs, walked around, and started to panic. It's a parent's worst nightmare that they get distracted and while they are doing something, their child gets into trouble or disappears. And as I stood in the backyard, nearly in tears... chest heaving, praying silently... movement caught my eye over by the fence...



I looked closer...

HUGE relief... and then I had to take pictures.

-k

Ian means well

Katie's been wearing her crabbypants lately... particularly between 2 - 4 in the morning. Which means I'm up all that time... and although Miss Katie can nap just about any time she likes... I don't have that luxury.

So, I'm fuzzy around the edges, and frankly, exhausted.

This morning, she finally fell asleep in her swing and I fell asleep on the downstairs couch. So Michael was trying to get Ian to leave me alone for a while so that I could nap while she napped. Which worked while he was watching him... but the moment Michael turned his back, Ian crawled under the afghan with me, stuck his icicle toes on my legs, and said in a stage whisper "I'M NOT WAKING YOU UP, MOMMY. I'M BEING SWEET".

Adorable if chilly and LOUD.

-k

Yeesh

Life is relentless in its beauty, its busyness, and its sheer determination to move forward at a steady pace. I can't believe Katie is already over seven months old. I can't believe that Ian is such a funny little person who is already so opinionated. When did he get so grown up? He has a great little sense of humor, and he is a master negotiator. He wants to angle to get the best possible deal on everything.

Now that Cory is back in school, you'd think I'd suddenly have tons of time. However, there is always more that's been shoved to the back burner that needs attention. This is bare root season, and time to plant things. We have this beautiful yard and I want to do whatever it takes to make all of us spend more time outside.

This is closet cleaning time, time to admit that the weight I gained with Katie is going to hang around for a while so instead of allowing my closet to mock me and make me miserable, I simply packed up a bunch of my clothes and bought a few things WAY ON SALE in a larger size. It's just a size. It doesn't mean anything about me as a person. I refuse to judge myself because I'm putting my kids first for a while. And here's the thing that it's time to face... no matter what my weight, I've never quite been comfortable in my own skin. I think that this, my largest weight ever, is the perfect time to come to terms with myself and learn to be comfortable and unselfconscious regardless of the largeness of my ASS.

This is the time when I am working to get Katie to sleep through the night - but this is also the time when I am simply loving the fact that she's our last baby... and she still needs me. It's awful sometimes because I'm so exhausted. I haven't slept through the night in over nine months. I am bleary sometimes. I know my patience isn't what it should be. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have this wonderful complete family. I am so happy with my husband and my children, although I will candidly admit that each of those elements occasionally makes me want to stretch my arms out as far as they'll go and scream until my toes come out my throat.

And this... THIS is Valentine's season, and I couldn't care less. I am SO grateful that I don't have the pressure of the candy store for the first time in years. Yes, we are broke. But we are heading in the right direction... and it's all good in the hood. Cause that's just the way we roll. C'mon, let's bounce.

Or something much more boring but appropriate...

-k

My baby girl

Here's a picture of Katie-Katie today... that's Alex pushing her stroller.

-k

WinterNeinerNights

We play NeverWinterNights, which is essentially on-line Dungeons and Dragons. I could get all geeky with it and tell you that we play a persistent world being coded by my brother, Jim, called Sapphire Gate... which is based on his writings... but I'll leave it with the admission that we play SO MUCH of this game that Ian likes to ask for it by name.

But as you would imagine... he has his own name for it.

And if you read the title of this blog... you already know it.

Cute... very cute.

-k

Better NOT

Katie has a new trick... and it's a doozie. She says her name.

Now, she doesn't honestly have any idea what she's saying. She's just repeating it back. But it's the cutest damn thing you ever saw. You say "Katie-Katie" to her, and she says it back! We are all so in love with this that we do it all the time. All of us. Ian too.

Too darling.

What is NOT too darling is that the other thing she likes to say right now is "dadadadada".

Katie-Katie better NOT say "dada" first!

-k

Two Ian stories

Ian loves Katie. A lot. Always has. Loves her so much that he lets her pull his hair, a little bit. Loves to hold her. And he can't stand it when she cries.

Today, he wanted to give her a bottle when she was fussing... but he didn't quite get the idea. He'd give it to her for a second, but then he'd get bored and want to put it down instantly and do something else. He'd literally touch her mouth with the bottle, say "she's had enough", and go off to do something else... but then she'd cry, and he'd come back over to give it to her again... for just a split second.

also

From today's "I couldn't have put it better myself" file:

Ian constantly goes all out... full tilt. Whatever he's doing, he's doing it. (Okay, this rule doesn't always apply to meals... where he likes to try to multi-task and stall). Today, he was running around the kitchen while I put his meal together and alternately fed Katie. He came barrelling around the corner and smacked into my back really hard with his face, specifically his nose. And from as hard as he bumped into me, I could tell that he was smarting a little... but here was his response... "It's okay, Mom... I've got hard brains."

Yes. Yes, you do, son.

-k

It was a week

A week that's hard to put into words. A week of total frustration with Cory. A week of total exhaustion from dealing with three kids of such different ages at home, in a house that isn't really baby-proofed. A week of soul searching.

So I'm sorry I didn't blog much. It was too much to try to talk about casually or with a sense of humor.

I'll try to find my funny again.

-k